Tip #9: If I fucking ask for your credit card then fucking give it to me.

Listen you stupid-ass motherfucker.  If I ask your for you god damn credit card, then just fucking give it to me.  I really don’t give a flying fuck what other hotels or motels let you do.  At this establishment, we require an imprint of your credit card for security purposes.  It’s not that I think you are using someone else’s credit card.  We don’t think you are a theif, a fraud, a sleezy-ass motherfucker.  It’s simply something this company requires so please don’t make my day harder by arguing with me that you stay all over the world and we are the only place that makes you give us your credit card.

That also goes for your identification.  Do you understand what the stastics for identity theft are? 9.3 million Americans are victims of identity theft each year.  It could ruin your credit.  You could have hard time getting a loan.  Those little fuckers could wipe out your credit cards AND your bank accounts.  Given all of that information, do you really want to keep arguing about why I am carding you?  I’m obviously the only one looking out for your well being.  You are doing a right shitty job of it.  I’m potentially saving your marriage you little fuck.  You should be thanking me.  Go fuck yourself.